Grief has the power to disrupt our beliefs and may lead us to question a great deal in life. When we lose a person we love, it may feel as though the fabric of our existence has been torn apart. For many, spirituality offers an anchor amid loss, providing hope, comfort, and meaning. And what happens when in the depths of sorrow that spirituality becomes shaken? When prayers and meditative reflections feel unfulfilled, and we experience a sense of distance from faith in our lives, how do we handle deep spiritual pain? This feeling may be one of the most painful aspects of grieving.
Many religious and spiritual traditions emphasize the role of a compassionate and guiding force in times of need. Therefore, when someone experiences a loss or an unexpected tragedy strikes, it may create a crisis of faith. We begin to ask questions such as, “Why would a loving force allow this to happen?” or “How could the universe allow such suffering?” Asking such questions is not uncommon and this internal struggle can lead to feelings of abandonment, anger, and spiritual disillusionment.
For those who have integrated spirituality into their daily lives, this questioning can feel deeply personal and unsettling. For many, spirituality is meant to provide comfort and protection in life’s hardest moments. Yet now it feels distant, as if our faith has turned its back on us amid suffering.
Grief brings about an array of emotions to the surface. It oftentimes may strip away illusions and forces individuals to confront the depth of their pain. In this vulnerable state, spiritual beliefs that once provided reassurance may no longer feel sufficient. Faith or spiritual connection may feel tested, as what once made sense no longer aligns with the painful reality of loss.
However, this struggle is not a sign of a lack of faith, rather, it is an indication of the deep relationship between spirituality and personal experience. Many religious and philosophical teachings acknowledge the struggle with faith in times of suffering. Across different traditions, sacred texts, and teachings, there are many existing stories of individuals who question, doubt, and wrestle with their beliefs in the face of pain. These stories remind us that questioning and struggling with spirituality is a deeply human experience.
While grief may lead some to question their beliefs, it can simultaneously deepen one’s spiritual connection. Some individuals find themselves drawn closer to their religious or spiritual practices, seeking comfort in rituals, prayer, meditation, or sacred texts. Others may feel disconnected and struggle to reconcile their beliefs after their loss. It is important to remember that there is no single path in grief. Grief has the power to lead individuals away from their spirituality or toward a rebirth of their beliefs.
Navigating the Journey
While the feelings surrounding loss can be deeply painful, it does not have to be the end of one’s spiritual journey. Many find that wrestling with these questions can ultimately lead to a deeper, more nuanced understanding of their beliefs. Here are some ways to navigate this journey:
Acknowledge Your Feelings – Allow yourself to feel the anger, disappointment, and sadness. Suppressing emotions can prolong the healing process and may lead to more complex grief.
Finding Safe Spaces for Expression - Speaking with trusted friends, spiritual leaders, or support groups can provide a sense of solidarity. You are not alone in this struggle, and others may have experienced similar feelings.
Engage in Rituals and Practices That Bring Comfort – Spiritual activities such as prayer, meditation, scripture reading, attending services, or even silent reflection can provide grounding and solace. Alternatively, some individuals find that engaging nature, music, art, or acts of service can promote healing and meaning making.
Give Yourself Time – Spiritual crises are not resolved overnight. Healing, both spiritually and emotionally, is a gradual process. It is okay to remain uncertain without rushing to find immediate answers.
A Journey, not a Destination
Questioning faith during grief is immensely challenging. At the same time, it can also be an opportunity for significant spiritual growth. While the answers may not be clear cut, the journey of questioning, seeking, and reshaping beliefs can lead to more authentic and resilient spirituality. Just as grief is a testament to love, wrestling with faith is a testament to its importance in our lives. Over time, you may notice that comfort can come through truly being seen and supported by others.
The Children's Bereavement Center “CBC” is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization providing FREE grief support groups for all ages (4+). Lift From Loss® is a division of CBC providing support for young adults and adults. For additional resources, visit our website at www.liftfromloss.org. To register for our free grief support groups, call us at (888) 988-5438 or e-mail support@childbereavement.org.
